I have a lovely, much younger friend (psst--she blogs over at PenisEnvy as Dr. Kinky) who is about to leave for Smith. Talking to her recently made me remember all of the excitement and insanity of leaving for college the first time--the anxieties over making new friends and saying goodbye to old ones, PACKING, the thrill of independence.
But are ya really that independent at college?
This is the interesting paradox of Smith, in particular, that I am realizing post-graduation. You go to this fantastic college, full of strong, smart, sassy women with their own thoughts and ideas and achievements and anxieties (so much anxiety. But that is another post!). You can do ANYTHING you want, take any classes you want thanks to the open curriculum, skip any classes you want, sleep with anyone you want (all the men in the Valley! All the women! No one at all!). You make your schedule, choose your extracurriculars, make big decisions about your future, take out big loans. Delicious independence.
Except...no.
There are TEAMS of folks at Smith (and every college) whose jobs exist solely to make your existence easier. IT people you call when the internet is funky or slow or down entirely, electricians who come out at 3AM to turn off your beeping fire alarm when the school is running on generator power, facilities management workers who get out there at the crack of dawn to shovel all that damn New England snow, the housekeepers who not only scrub the tubs but are always there to give you the college gossip and friendly banter on your way to class, the lovely people feeding you....the list goes on and on.
And as much as I thought I was an independent person, and not pampered, I was so so wrong. Waiting for the electric company to come cut on my service during a heat wave, sitting in a chair pressed against the open window, I fully realized the blessing of letting other people take care of things. Sitting in a pool of my own sweat, I once again was faced with how much of a fucking privilege college is, especially the Smith experience (Smith, btws, got a score of 96/100 for quality of life among America's top colleges...probably thanks to all the lovely people taking care of our needs).
It's interesting that colleges put so much work into taking care of these logistical aspects of life for their students while they're being prepared to go into the world and take over on their own. But they do this so you can go about your intellectual life unfettered by the annoyances that people who aren't just full-time students often have to deal with. It's not such a bad thing to not really be doin' it for yourself. So appreciate it and soak up the faux-independence, first years!
When did you realize you'd been maybe just a wee bit spoiled, either in college or before going off?
Much love,
The Sheriff
I just had a discussion about the American college experience with my host mother here in Paris last night. As she remarked, a college campus in the U.S. can really be its own little world, and that often is quite separate from "real life." Since I'm studying abroad on a program run by Smith, even here I have many things taken care of for me, but navigating Paris requires a degree of independence and effort that is generally not necessary at Smith. In France, there is no equivalent to the kind of self-contained university that exists in the U.S.; even those who live in the (very scarce) university housing carry on independent lives. I don't think that either set-up is a bad thing--at American universities, the structured nature of campus life allows plenty of room to focus on academics and helps ease the transition from living with your parents. On the other hand, I would bet that French students don't experience quite the same difficulties and anxieties with finishing college and moving on with their lives, because the college years aren't as sheltered. As for me, I'm hoping that studying in Paris this year will give me the best of both worlds--a bit of savoir faire while I still have some means of external support.
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