The main argument I've heard for cumming on a female partner (or male, I suppose) is pretty weak: less likely to get her pregnant (false! There is still semen in your pre-cum, and it only takes one little spermy to inseminate that egg). It is, admittedly, easier to clean up. But that doesn't mean it's completely unproblematic.
I distinctly remember the first time a guy came outside of me, making his mark all over my stomach and leaving me furious. I didn't know that it was considered "custom" to have a man's projectile fluids disposed of on one's body, and I was so appalled, I left immediately, dashing off to catch the PVTA back to Smith. I was only a wee first-year at this point, having no real vocabulary to express my discontent with his actions, and so I let it continue until eventually, I got used to it. It no longer infuriated me.
I then dated Beefcake, who always wanted to blow a load on my face, a desire I curtailed as much as possible. Cum on one's face feels blatantly demeaning: it makes no mistake of the fact that you are there as an object, not as an equal partner. Or at least that's how it felt. But now, with the ever-considerate Meatball, I don't mind it (he certainly doesn't mind when I cum on him). And at some point, I began to enjoy it, being able to see that my partner did, in fact, get off on having sex with me. Is this internalized misogyny? Just a little vain? Is cumming on a woman just rude? Or am I over-analyzing this? What say you?
Much love,
The Sheriff
I think it can be completely attributed to males watching porn a lot. This is typically what happens in pornography, and so men then think it is normal and exemplify it when they're in the act.
ReplyDeleteAs a former sexual partner of yours, I always had an inkling of a want to "blow a load" on your face, but not as so dramatically shown in pornography. I wasn't quite comfortable explaining this to you, as I was an "amateur" when it came to sex. As I grew up, in maturity and sexually, I became more fond of the idea, but never executed it as not to upset my partner. Then we talked about, she was okay with it, and realized that she enjoyed it. This also opened up conversation to things she wanted to explore sexually on her end. So, it kind of all came together. As far as seeing it degrading, I completely understand it from that perspective, but we all have different likes/dislikes in the sexual realm. There are domination, and submission positions, that both sexes partake in, and enjoy. I know peoples who's fantasy is to have a "rape" like scenario happen to them. As much as this discomforts me, I get it, it's an extreme, and the rush is something that is incomparable to. We all have a kinky side, and we all want to express it, as well we should, as long as there is no one hurt, without their consent. Take this as you will, I have no regrets, and I consider myself pretty open to trying new things in the bedroom. I would also like to thank you, Sheriff, for opening me up to some of the many sexual deviance's I now partake in.
ReplyDeletePaul, I've also experimented with dom/sub stuff, and it's all fantastic...so long as all parties give their consent to anything that happens. I can handle being choked, restrained, spanked, tied up (and doing those things to my partner), but cum on the face? It's a line for me and I can't really articulate why.
ReplyDeleteAnd you're welcome for the opening up to your kinkier side.
--The Sheriff
Everyone has there limits, and I support that, but make it clear to your partner what you are okay, and not okay with, otherwise there is always some kind of unspoken awkwardness. I can take this same idea and apply it to a wide range of things. Example; I am into body modifications. I enjoy tattoos, piercings, scarification, suspension, implants, etc., but there is a limit for me on what I wish to do to my own body. I know people who have performed a number of modifications that I know, I, personally would never be able to do; scrotal splitting,female nullification, meatotomy, penectomy, etc. But this does not mean I am going to pass judgment on what they wish to do, and enjoy. (If you don't know what some of those things I mentioned are, http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Category:Extreme_Modifications )
ReplyDeleteThis is sort of off topic, but over a year ago I was surfing through jezebel and I noticed an article about precum and sperm. Of course, I can't find the article that I read it on now, but basically it was explaining that a new study found that there actually is no sperm in precum. The woman who did the study found that the only time sperm was present was if the guy had ejaculated up to 4 hours prior and had not urinated. The woman's work was also highly criticized, but she said that the criticisms were unwarranted because the facts of her experiments could not be proved wrong through any mistakes on her part. She claimed that people did not want to believe her findings because of people growing up constantly hearing that there is sperm in precum and because it might make people less inclined to use condoms.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I can't seem to find the article I'm thinking of, I did find this: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12762415?dopt=Abstract
I really don't know how legitimate it is, but food for thought anyway!