I was reading the Washington Post this morning, and I found a few articles that might interest everyone.
"No more marriage gap for college educated women":
"More US women pull down the big bucks"
Happy Friday!!
Lots of Love,
Lady Lola
Friday, October 8, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
we are legit.
Hey ya'll,
So I'm in Hell this week with papers and good news and homework and taking the GRE Friday (ahhh wish me luck!), but personal whinings aside, I did want to share that we now have a domain name.
That's right. We're now www.fornicatingfeminists.com. I paid the whole $10 myself. We are official.
Anyway. Promise some juicy articles coming soon!
Much love,
The Sheriff
So I'm in Hell this week with papers and good news and homework and taking the GRE Friday (ahhh wish me luck!), but personal whinings aside, I did want to share that we now have a domain name.
That's right. We're now www.fornicatingfeminists.com. I paid the whole $10 myself. We are official.
Anyway. Promise some juicy articles coming soon!
Much love,
The Sheriff
Monday, October 4, 2010
what FF has done for me
A good friend of mine recently shared this link with me, encouraging me to apply for this scholarship for college bloggers. I jumped at the chance, and just submitted my app (cross your fingers for FF! PS, if we win, we'll split the dolla dolla bills amongst all of us, of course). I thought I'd share the essay I submitted with ya'll, because I really do owe this soapbox of FF a lot: it's kept me accountable for recovery (it's hard to indulge your eating disorder when everyone and their mom has read about it), helped me process a devastating breakup and figure out how my feminism works in real life on a daily basis. So thanks for reading! Post on polyamory coming up...soon?
What began in April 2010 as a collaborative blog about sex and feminism in the unique world of Smith College quickly grew into my passion, as my entries signed with my pseudonym “The Sheriff” vastly outnumbered those by other writers on Fornicating Feminists. The blog has decidedly matured from its short and profanity-laden beginnings into discussions that incorporate social theory into the ethics of faking orgasms, but I feel the enthusiasm and authenticity of the origins in still evident in each piece. Going through eating disorder treatment, a difficult breakup, and navigating the college dating (and boning) scene for the first time with my feminist mindset intact proved to be difficult, and through writing about it in a public forum, I processed incidents, emotions, and social issues in a way I never could’ve done on my own. While I was teasing out my own feelings about spanking or porn, I also realized the power blogging had to generate conversations among my friends and (most thrilling of all) complete strangers about what healthy, authentic sexuality looks like, how women can develop that, and the role men have in unwittingly condoning oppression. Particularly powerful to me have been the reactions to the pieces I’ve written about my experiences with eating disorders, self-esteem, and the path to a positive and happy body image. High school girls I’ve worked with through my summer jobs have sent me messages that made me realize the influence one lone encouraging voice has in telling them their big thighs, their Jew nose, their flat chest are all beautiful and perfect and they deserve to interact with people who make them feel that way too. There is an inherent power in women sharing their stories of both oppression and triumph, and I’m thrilled to be a part of that.
Much love,
The Sheriff
What began in April 2010 as a collaborative blog about sex and feminism in the unique world of Smith College quickly grew into my passion, as my entries signed with my pseudonym “The Sheriff” vastly outnumbered those by other writers on Fornicating Feminists. The blog has decidedly matured from its short and profanity-laden beginnings into discussions that incorporate social theory into the ethics of faking orgasms, but I feel the enthusiasm and authenticity of the origins in still evident in each piece. Going through eating disorder treatment, a difficult breakup, and navigating the college dating (and boning) scene for the first time with my feminist mindset intact proved to be difficult, and through writing about it in a public forum, I processed incidents, emotions, and social issues in a way I never could’ve done on my own. While I was teasing out my own feelings about spanking or porn, I also realized the power blogging had to generate conversations among my friends and (most thrilling of all) complete strangers about what healthy, authentic sexuality looks like, how women can develop that, and the role men have in unwittingly condoning oppression. Particularly powerful to me have been the reactions to the pieces I’ve written about my experiences with eating disorders, self-esteem, and the path to a positive and happy body image. High school girls I’ve worked with through my summer jobs have sent me messages that made me realize the influence one lone encouraging voice has in telling them their big thighs, their Jew nose, their flat chest are all beautiful and perfect and they deserve to interact with people who make them feel that way too. There is an inherent power in women sharing their stories of both oppression and triumph, and I’m thrilled to be a part of that.
Much love,
The Sheriff
Sunday, October 3, 2010
it gets better
Most people have a hometown they love and hold close to their hearts. I wish I could say the same, but I was just not a rural PA kinda girl, largely because of how much I hated my high school. We were known for two things in our area: wrestling and bomb threats. My senior year was memorable, not for how much fun it was, but for being searched coming into school. For being bussed to the fire station because the school was unsafe. For the Action News van out front, interviewing people. While many of the threats were mere pranks and the typical hooligans who just want to get out of class types, the original threats were planted by one of maybe two out gay males from my school. The article linked to above sites him as doing it because he was sick of being teased, but having been bullied myself for my supposed slut status within the same schools, I can only begin imagine the hell he went through.
There has been a horrifying string of LGBT suicides lately, a tragic result of individuals being tired of teasing and torment in their daily lives. Reading about them makes me choke up: it's hard to conceive of the intensity of being hated and reviled by even your family for an aspect of your identity you didn't choose and can't change. That these kids, practically babies, thought there was no way out, that it would never get any easier breaks my heart.
But! There's a really awesome campaign called It Gets Better. And a Youtube channel! There's even a video of Smithies, some of whom are Albrighters! I really encourage you to read about it, pass it along, and get involved if you feel so moved. Because, seriously? It does get better.
Much love,
The Sheriff
There has been a horrifying string of LGBT suicides lately, a tragic result of individuals being tired of teasing and torment in their daily lives. Reading about them makes me choke up: it's hard to conceive of the intensity of being hated and reviled by even your family for an aspect of your identity you didn't choose and can't change. That these kids, practically babies, thought there was no way out, that it would never get any easier breaks my heart.
But! There's a really awesome campaign called It Gets Better. And a Youtube channel! There's even a video of Smithies, some of whom are Albrighters! I really encourage you to read about it, pass it along, and get involved if you feel so moved. Because, seriously? It does get better.
Much love,
The Sheriff
Saturday, October 2, 2010
shift your focus
Sometimes, I feel like men as a aggregate group (or more accurately, the men I come into contact with frequently, which is approximately four plus the homeless folks who talk to me downtown)are making decent progress at this whole not-being-sexist/women-are-really-actually-people-too thing. And sometimes, I'm just really discouraged by how much they don't get it.
One of the hallmarks of a privileged group (in this case, people with penises) is that they have to understand little to nothing about the struggles, obstacles, and day to day life of the subordinated group (women and people presenting as gender variant). Talking with Meatball the other night, this theory vibrantly came to life for me. Somehow we got on the topic of being catcalled, with me explicating how it's NOT actually flattering and really has nothing to do with compliments when it's heinously disgusting proclamations or gestures (just this morning, actually, I was walking to campus center while a man rode slowly next to me, telling me all the nasty things he wanted to do to me, including cumming on my face, while I just tried not to look at him and keep my pace steady while also not running away, not letting him win by disrupting my life). Meatball responded by saying he'd never heard anyone really catcall someone, only guys at parties gesturing to a girl and saying to their buddies, "Hey, check out that."
THAT. That?! Not even "check out this girl," but check out "that." That object. That thing.
I pointed out ("pointed out" makes me sound like I was calm about it, but I'm pretty sure I may have grown a little shrill) that even his little example perfectly illustrated the sexual harassment and sexual objectification that women deal with every day, and that it probably happened all around him constantly, but as a man, he had the privilege to not have to pay attention to it. To not notice that his own language revealed unconscious objectification. To not have the male gaze thrust upon you as soon as you hit puberty. To not notice the men slowly driving by women, honking, throwing game, making commentary, or even just staring.
Women live their lives on a "rape schedule," having a constant awareness of when it's "okay" (and by "okay," I mean the situations in which you won't be victim blamed should you be sexually assaulted) to be walking home, to be at a bar, to wear that skirt, to drink alcohol. Are any of these factors things men have to consider before they go out for a night of fun with their friends? If I'm at a bar, drunk, in a short skirt, does that mean I'm down to fuck? Has a man ever questioned what he's wearing and the message it gives about his sexual availability before heading to a party (can I get a HELL NO)? Despite Noho's reputation for safety, several of my friends and I have admitted to walking home from downtown at night, cell phones out, 911 already dialed should something happen. How is this an acceptable way for women to have to live?
So again, I implore the men who read this blog (and anyone who has a privileged identity: white, straight, wealthy, able-bodied, etc) to check themselves before they dismiss the concerns of women (or any other subordinated group). The fact that it isn't registering on your radar doesn't mean that it doesn't disrupt the daily lives of millions of women.
Much love,
The Sheriff
One of the hallmarks of a privileged group (in this case, people with penises) is that they have to understand little to nothing about the struggles, obstacles, and day to day life of the subordinated group (women and people presenting as gender variant). Talking with Meatball the other night, this theory vibrantly came to life for me. Somehow we got on the topic of being catcalled, with me explicating how it's NOT actually flattering and really has nothing to do with compliments when it's heinously disgusting proclamations or gestures (just this morning, actually, I was walking to campus center while a man rode slowly next to me, telling me all the nasty things he wanted to do to me, including cumming on my face, while I just tried not to look at him and keep my pace steady while also not running away, not letting him win by disrupting my life). Meatball responded by saying he'd never heard anyone really catcall someone, only guys at parties gesturing to a girl and saying to their buddies, "Hey, check out that."
THAT. That?! Not even "check out this girl," but check out "that." That object. That thing.
I pointed out ("pointed out" makes me sound like I was calm about it, but I'm pretty sure I may have grown a little shrill) that even his little example perfectly illustrated the sexual harassment and sexual objectification that women deal with every day, and that it probably happened all around him constantly, but as a man, he had the privilege to not have to pay attention to it. To not notice that his own language revealed unconscious objectification. To not have the male gaze thrust upon you as soon as you hit puberty. To not notice the men slowly driving by women, honking, throwing game, making commentary, or even just staring.
Women live their lives on a "rape schedule," having a constant awareness of when it's "okay" (and by "okay," I mean the situations in which you won't be victim blamed should you be sexually assaulted) to be walking home, to be at a bar, to wear that skirt, to drink alcohol. Are any of these factors things men have to consider before they go out for a night of fun with their friends? If I'm at a bar, drunk, in a short skirt, does that mean I'm down to fuck? Has a man ever questioned what he's wearing and the message it gives about his sexual availability before heading to a party (can I get a HELL NO)? Despite Noho's reputation for safety, several of my friends and I have admitted to walking home from downtown at night, cell phones out, 911 already dialed should something happen. How is this an acceptable way for women to have to live?
So again, I implore the men who read this blog (and anyone who has a privileged identity: white, straight, wealthy, able-bodied, etc) to check themselves before they dismiss the concerns of women (or any other subordinated group). The fact that it isn't registering on your radar doesn't mean that it doesn't disrupt the daily lives of millions of women.
Much love,
The Sheriff
Friday, October 1, 2010
fridayyyy links
Since our blog is compromised of college women writers, a little info about college in America.
Article in the NYT about why single sex education is still important.
WOMEN ARE HORNY TOO.
And finally, a Duke college student's fuck list power point goes viral, peeps are mad, etc. I think that while it's hilarious and fun for her to share with her friends, perhaps including the pictures was a little much. Your thoughts?
Much love,
The Sheriff
Article in the NYT about why single sex education is still important.
WOMEN ARE HORNY TOO.
And finally, a Duke college student's fuck list power point goes viral, peeps are mad, etc. I think that while it's hilarious and fun for her to share with her friends, perhaps including the pictures was a little much. Your thoughts?
Much love,
The Sheriff
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