women and power: lack of desire, or lack of access?

In honor of President's Day, I'm finally writing this post I've been putting off for about three months.

In the June 2012 issue of Philadelphia magazine, there was an article about women and political power entitled "Who's Missing?" by Patrick Kerkstra (I know, I'm so late it's ridiculous). The basic gist of the article was that women in Philly and Pennsylvania (which ranks 42nd in the nation in female statehouse representation, and that is fucking shameful!) should really put the blame on themselves for not having political power, saying "powerful local women blame the old-boy network. And the Democratic machine. And the testosterone-fueled political thuggery endemic to Philadelphia. They blame the conflict between family life and the relentless demands of political life. But the more thoughtful ones also blame themselves."

...c'mon. Really? We should blame ourselves for the fact that there aren't more women in power? Of course, there's something very basic and logical to what Kerkstra is saying: if women don't push themselves to run for office, despite all the obstacles, then clearly we won't win any seats, have any political capital, or be able to influence policy substantially.

But ALL of the factors that he cites that women blame are real and structural and stop women from accessing the power that comes with political office. It also shifts the focus from trying to change these institutions onto pointing the finger at individual women for their choices, as if we don't do enough of that in every arena of female activities (motherhood/proper parenting, climbing the corporate ladder, perceived attractiveness, I could go on).

What do you think? Is this an issue in which women just don't want it enough, or are there some real structural inequalities that make it harder for us to get even get our feet in the door?


Much love,
The Sheriff

Follow me on twitter @ff_sheriff or get at me on Facebook!

friday links

Man, I just love everything Kate writes.

A bit late, but still good: body positive Valentine's gifts.

Interesting! A pregnant teenager sues her parents for physically trying to make her get an abortion.

The Feminine Mystique, 50 Years Later.

Connie Briton fucking rocks.


Much love,
The Sheriff

happy Galentine's Day

Show yourself some love today. Whatever that means for you: a beer and some brainless TV, a mani-pedi, what have you.

More substantial posting to resume next week.

Much love,
The Sheriff

three years.

This Saturday, February 9th, 2013, marked three years for me without any eating disordered behaviors. No skipped meals, no excessive time in the gym, no purging after family holidays. Over a thousand days without it.

I don't have any massive wisdom to share about it, aside from the fact that it is at the core quite simple (note: simple and easy are drastically different). I wanted to change. I wanted to stop limiting myself and my life through my illness. So, I stopped participating in those behaviors, one hour at a time. Early on, an hour after dinner sitting with my feelings and being full and not throwing up felt like a triumph. But at some point, hours turn into days. and those days turn into weeks, and eventually you stop waiting to fuck up, you stop waiting for the other shoe to drop and just let yourself live.

That's about where I'm at right now. And it feels pretty damn good.


Much love,
The Sheriff

Follow me on twitter @ff_sheriff or get at me on Facebook!

friday links

WOMEN WARRIORS: Her name is Annie Lumpkins and she was a Freedom Rider. She is pictured at the city jail in Little Rock July 10, 1961. 

Stupid marriage myths, deconstructed.

WHY are women so sorry all the time always?

On being an adult.

What does it feel like to be a hot girl who gets old?

Josephine Baker was amazing.

The Feminine Mystique turns 50 this year!

My reaction too.

Much love,
The Sheriff

Follow me on twitter @ff_sheriff or get at me on Facebook!

the problem with relationship advice

I have mentioned it before, but I fall prey majorly to lady magazines of all kinds--if the headline promises to help me improve my body image or tone my tummy, I'm putty in their hands and buy that glossy immediately. I pore over the fashion sections and read all the articles, and am always intrigued by articles that portend to dole out relationship advice. Sometimes it seems like they just know precisely what I'm going through.

Except that they don't.

Most of these articles tend to be incredibly, deceptively overly simplified (whoa, adverb overload!). Your man not giving you enough attention? Ask him about his day and wear some sexy uncomfortable underwear. He's been having trouble staying hard? Force him to see a doctor because it's either a physical ailment or entirely your fault.

It's one-size-fits-all, and almost ALWAYS based in strongly gendered stereotypes. Which isn't to say there's nothing helpful in there, because there's something to be said for the power of trying to communicate more with your partner or the magic of putting on some panties that make you feel hot. But each relationship is its own team and its own unique set of problems and strengths, and the bland, vague advice that is written to apply to every heterosexual couple in the country may not be the best source of information and help to you.



Much love,
The Sheriff

Follow me on twitter @ff_sheriff or get at me on Facebook!

stop calling me judgmental.

source

Recently, I had the pleasure of a breakup (read here for more sadness!), and with that comes the nasty insults and revelations about your not-so-endearing qualities. One that was particularly bothersome was the charge that I am a judgmental person.

Now, here's the thing. The Sheriff ain't flawless, and this is not the first time I've been called judgmental (by an ex that other time too, I'd like to note). But I don't think I'm cruel or harsh on people. I think the issue is moreso that this word is used to dismiss women for having opinions. We're not thoughtful or smart; we're just judgmental, and bitches.

Additionally, I have rarely, if ever, heard a man called judgmental, because we expect dudes to have strong opinions on things and to express them without worry about other people's feelings. It's similar to the use of the word crazy to emotion-shame and dismiss the shit out of a woman when she has feelings that make her partner uncomfortable.

Am I off here, or do you agree?

Much love,
The Sheriff

Follow me on twitter @ff_sheriff or get at me on Facebook!