black feminism vs white feminism

According to a buddy of mine, there has recently been a HUGE blow up on twitter between black and white feminists. There have always been issues there--white women can't understand that black women's lived experiences are different/how intersectional identities impact, oh, I don't know, everything. 

So I did a little research to see if some sort of recent event had brought this out, and it seems like the Oscars/Onion dust up with  Quvenzhané Willis in which the satirical site called her a cunt on Twitter brought this up. She is a nine-year-old black girl which makes it appalling, but also appalling because the only thing she did that was even moderately less than precious was correct reporters when they misprounced her name/refused to even try (one reporter called her Annie!) and to be proud and excited about her accomplishments. Some of the commentary I read online about this adorable little girl was just this close to calling her uppity for daring to be proud of herself, and the Onion, however satirically, crossed a line when they called her a cunt. (Sidebar: I actually was going to write a post about this, but a) I was too lazy/tired and b) I didn't actually watch the Oscars so writing commentary on it too much felt weird). 

But the criticism here seems to be that black feminists feel white feminists were silent on this issue (which makes me sad I was!), and Tressie MC actually does an empirical breakdown of it on her blog (a well-written and damning read). 

So why were white feminists silent on this? I like what she wrote here on that: "There remains a cultural norm that children are off-limits. When that norm is violated and it does not elicit a social response equal to the severity of the violation, it communicates that there are invisible limits to who is included in the greater social contract. In this instance, being black and being a girl put Quvenzhané just beyond the limits of inclusion." We've sort of somehow decided that being a minority and a female means that it's okay to brush over this hideous word applied to a kid, or to give it a very dismissive level of engagement at best.

And that makes me feel ashamed and sad. It's 20 fucking 13, why aren't we doing better than this? Why aren't we working together and engaging in real dialogue so that white feminists can get a glimpse of black feminist issues and try to understand and maybe even help? I don't have any answers here, but a simple recommendation: talk to people and listen to people who are different from you. 

Did you see that disgusting tweet? Did you think it was out of line too?

Much love,

The Sheriff

a brief break

The Sheriff has several papers to write for graduate school and a trip to California this week (whoo!), so there will be no posting this week.

Enjoy your week, and see you next Monday!

Much love,
The Sheriff

friday links

Not related to feminism or body image or sex at all, but this tumblr is the shit. Period.

Despite having a lady CEO, Yahoo has some pretty lame policies regarding letting its employees work remotely (a policy that largely benefits women and their vaginas and their babies coming from said vaginas).

Sonia Sotomayor is a BAMF, tackles a racist prosecutor. Get it girl.

Is it really that hard to say Quvenzhane? People are pricks.

Things people have said to female journalists. Wildly fucked up, mildly funny.

About thigh gaps.

Much love,
The Sheriff

the torture that is swimsuit shopping

Winter is slowly starting to ebb away a bit here in the Mid-Atlantic states, but the winter flab hangs on for most of us, accumulated from night after night of chips and snuggling in the covers and Netflix instead of Zumba classes and jogging in the cold (I know it ain't just me that's made those choices).

But, cruelly, no matter what preparations you have or have not made, the Victoria's Secret swim suit catalog arrives, with its photos of lithe women with improbably large tits.

yep. 

This catalog doesn't just sell a swimsuit (although it does that very effectively), but it sells their bodies--I find frequently it's not the suit that really would look best on me that I fixate on, but the one that features the body I most wish I had, that tousled beachy hair I could never achieve, that relaxed and affluent lifestyle that is so incongruous from the one I have where I work too much and wake up in the dark to lumber out in the cold.

Marketing this impossible body and this impossible lifestyle, companies like VS get rich off of making women feel like shit. Which infuriates me the more that I think on it.

Especially because it feels so personal when things fit incorrectly, when your breasts are just too big to look classy in anything, when you butt can't fill out the bottom but you somehow have a muffin top. It feels like it's just you that there's something wrong with. But as my girl Tina Fey points out, we are all in this ship feeling terrible about ourselves together.

Remember that, please. Nothing is wrong with you.

Much love,
The Sheriff

Follow me on twitter @ff_sheriff or get at me on Facebook!

friday links

Thandie Newtorn shares about the sexual abuse she experienced early in her career.

Yup.

What actually matters in the case of the Olympian who shot his girlfriend.

LADIES NIGHT IS A SCAM. I've felt this way for ages.

Oh man, this is so true: being thin to make up for other flaws.

Blonde, self-tanning teen scores higher than Einstein on MENSA test, and of course people are dubious dicks about it.

A magazine rejects an ad featuring two brides. That's just bad business.

Much love,
The Sheriff

Follow me on twitter @ff_sheriff or get at me on Facebook!

back in the saddle again

As noted previously, the Sheriff had a break up recently. I'm finally through the alcoholism and Netflix stage (with brief relapses), moving into anger and firey desire to fix myself, which is wildly productive. I'm also entering the stage where I feel like I'm ready to get back in the saddle, and maybe get dicked down.

this image was just too perfect for this post

It's not that easy. Actually, that's not true--I'm a busty young female, getting laid IS that easy.  But there's some complicated feelings about putting yourself back out there after being in a long-term relationship. There's a rawness and vulnerability riding on it, because breakups definitely leave you with a lack of confidence in yourself, sexually and otherwise. In my experience, just prior to a breakup is when the sex in relationships tends to be the most lame, leaving you feeling ugly, gross, and undesirable in bed.

Also? A lot of guys are gross, weird, sexist, or just disrespectful. So if the candidate I pick for my first post break-up lay is someone who thinks it's okay to be rude to me during a one-night stand or if they're just plain a bad lay, I'll leave the situation feeling gross and sad about myself even more (and not even satisfied!). There's a lot riding on this (pun!), and I don't know if the reciprocal applies to men post-breakup.

I think for women because so much of our virtue and supposed "goodness" is wrapped up in our vaginas and how much we share them, and it makes things like that first dicking after a long term relationship seem far more momentous than they are.

What do you think?

Much love,
The Sheriff

Follow me on twitter @ff_sheriff or get at me on Facebook!

women and power: lack of desire, or lack of access?

In honor of President's Day, I'm finally writing this post I've been putting off for about three months.

In the June 2012 issue of Philadelphia magazine, there was an article about women and political power entitled "Who's Missing?" by Patrick Kerkstra (I know, I'm so late it's ridiculous). The basic gist of the article was that women in Philly and Pennsylvania (which ranks 42nd in the nation in female statehouse representation, and that is fucking shameful!) should really put the blame on themselves for not having political power, saying "powerful local women blame the old-boy network. And the Democratic machine. And the testosterone-fueled political thuggery endemic to Philadelphia. They blame the conflict between family life and the relentless demands of political life. But the more thoughtful ones also blame themselves."

...c'mon. Really? We should blame ourselves for the fact that there aren't more women in power? Of course, there's something very basic and logical to what Kerkstra is saying: if women don't push themselves to run for office, despite all the obstacles, then clearly we won't win any seats, have any political capital, or be able to influence policy substantially.

But ALL of the factors that he cites that women blame are real and structural and stop women from accessing the power that comes with political office. It also shifts the focus from trying to change these institutions onto pointing the finger at individual women for their choices, as if we don't do enough of that in every arena of female activities (motherhood/proper parenting, climbing the corporate ladder, perceived attractiveness, I could go on).

What do you think? Is this an issue in which women just don't want it enough, or are there some real structural inequalities that make it harder for us to get even get our feet in the door?


Much love,
The Sheriff

Follow me on twitter @ff_sheriff or get at me on Facebook!