back in the saddle again

As noted previously, the Sheriff had a break up recently. I'm finally through the alcoholism and Netflix stage (with brief relapses), moving into anger and firey desire to fix myself, which is wildly productive. I'm also entering the stage where I feel like I'm ready to get back in the saddle, and maybe get dicked down.

this image was just too perfect for this post

It's not that easy. Actually, that's not true--I'm a busty young female, getting laid IS that easy.  But there's some complicated feelings about putting yourself back out there after being in a long-term relationship. There's a rawness and vulnerability riding on it, because breakups definitely leave you with a lack of confidence in yourself, sexually and otherwise. In my experience, just prior to a breakup is when the sex in relationships tends to be the most lame, leaving you feeling ugly, gross, and undesirable in bed.

Also? A lot of guys are gross, weird, sexist, or just disrespectful. So if the candidate I pick for my first post break-up lay is someone who thinks it's okay to be rude to me during a one-night stand or if they're just plain a bad lay, I'll leave the situation feeling gross and sad about myself even more (and not even satisfied!). There's a lot riding on this (pun!), and I don't know if the reciprocal applies to men post-breakup.

I think for women because so much of our virtue and supposed "goodness" is wrapped up in our vaginas and how much we share them, and it makes things like that first dicking after a long term relationship seem far more momentous than they are.

What do you think?

Much love,
The Sheriff

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