Take some ridiculous classes (Tango? Engineering for Everyone? Nazi Cinema? Why not!). Be nice to everyone, even the hipsters, but don't worry about staying BFFs with the first people you meet at college (you will realize after three months that you have virtually nothing in common). Go to class, but also recognize that most professors will not notice if you miss a class or two. Drink, but do it with people you trust to carry you home when you hit the gin a little too hard (or, alternately, make friends with people who you trust not to give a shit if you don't want to drink). TALK TO YOUR PROFESSORS (mostly so they can write you kick-ass recommendations later). Please don't participate in the "I'm so stressed and sleep deprived" competition that goes on at elite colleges; it only makes you boring, and you will never win (the engineers and studio art majors always win). Brush your teeth after a hard night of drinking (you will thank me for that one the morning after when you don't have cotton mouth and dragon breath). MASTURBATE. Take advantage of the free gym as a source of stress relief, but accept that you will gain weight (I burst a button off my pants at a tea my first year with the college president, no shame in it!).Go to Herrel's and get the chocolate whip cream on your ice cream (where you will gain weight and enjoy every calorie).
Participate in the ridiculous/lovely traditions at your college (at Smith, Convocation, Mountain Day, Julia Child Day, Celebration, Immorality), if only to say that you've done them. Take care of your friends, and not just when you go out and they need protection from creeps: bring them cough meds when they're sick, and tissues when their doomed long-distance relationship ends (hint: it will be close to Thanksgiving). DON'T waste your time at the Amherst Luau (it's the first party of the year in the Five College area, and it's full of creeps...and really, don't waste your time at Amherst, as most of the men are douches and the girls are trophy wives and most of the parties get broken up by the cops). On that note, cooperate with cops and Public Safety. Buy a good winter coat and rainboots. GOOF OFF a little goddammit, these years are short. Your grades matter waaaay less than you think they do. Have sex with whoever you want (fuck the SLUG [Smith Lesbian Until Graduation] label, if you want to experiment with girls, GO FOR IT! But don't date or bone a senior without thinking it over, they're often preying on fresh first years), but do it safely, and only when you want to. Accept that you will be broke 90% of the time from buying crap you didn't need. Learn how to use public transportation. Take good notes in class, but learn how to skim the readings (the details are never that important). Sleep enough (you will be a better person for it). Buy a vibrator at Oh My. Swim in the science quad fountain!
Any other advice, wizened Smithies?
Much love,
The Sheriff
Sneak onto the roof of the Campus Center... it's something I always wish I'd thought of doing. ;)
ReplyDelete1. The Turkey Drop (thanksgiving breakup season) is a thing.
ReplyDeleteComfort your friends/self by remembering that you are more than a relationship.
2. Find a spot on campus that is yours and yours alone. You need a happy place. It may or may not be your room.
3. Find a study spot that works for you. Which might also not be your room.
4. Make unlikely friends. Those are often the best ones.
I didn't go to Smith, but I expect this is probably true anywhere:
ReplyDeleteForce yourself to go to any club meeting that might remotely interest you, at least once, especially if you have anti-social tendencies.
Over the course of 4 years I did fencing, meditation, trek (outdoorsy trips), women's interest group/RiotGrrl, Anarchist social theory club, living wage coalition, Aikido, the LGBTQ rights group, pilates, Food Not Bombs... probably a bunch more I don't remember. I tried each one at least a couple of times; some I stayed with for several years. It's easy to fall in with one social group or just hang out with the people in your dorm over and over, and having an outlet--the sweet girl who leads the meditation group, the cool nerdy guy in Aikido--whom you never see anywhere else can be a really nice break from your usual circle. You may end up being lifelong friends with people you never would have met otherwise, you may find that you have a gift for something you never would have had the chance to try. Post-college you will only have opportunities like this if you live in a major city, and then it takes a lot more work (and often money) to find them and maintain the connections with people you meet. People have jobs and spouses and children and it's just hard to make it work.
If you gain social skills and elementary knowledge in random things that interest you while you're in college (when the pressure and initial investment are so low), it will be much easier to build social circles in new places later on.
Never mind what's said in this blog post, don't take Engineering for Everyone on a whim. The class is a hazing ritual to see if you'll really make it in engineering. Sometimes it's a fun hazing ritual, but it's a hazing ritual nonetheless. srsly.
ReplyDeleteTake it pass/fail! Don't be afraid to use those to expand yourself a little bit.
ReplyDeleteOn second thought I might dispute the "Grades matter way less than you think they do" claim. It really depends on what you want to do after undergrad. If you just want to get a degree and get out, then sure, just make sure you pass, I guess. But... I just went through the whole application process for grad school, and let me tell you, things are Com-pet-i-tive right now. It won't get any better by the time you graduate. One class or one paper might not make or break you, and I don't want people to stress out needlessly, but it is important to think about the consequences down the line of drinking on a week night or blowing off that art class you took for fun.
ReplyDeleteWow I sound old. Consequences! I should probably just go ahead and wag my finger at y'all youngins.
I wouldn't say they don't matter AT ALL, but most Smithies I know agonize over a B+ versus an A-, which is just not worth your time (unless you KNOW you want to go to med school or something similar). Otherwise, don't stress over details!
ReplyDelete