mothers, daughters, and scary body image

Almost every female I know has some sort of body image issue or link to their mother: sometimes it's just small things, like my inherited bad relationship with my tummy that all women in my family seem to have (it unites the generations, at least!) and sometimes it's more serious, like witnessing a mother figures descent into an eating disorder to hearing her criticism, aloud or implied, of your thighs or dessert choices. Some very lucky women learn from their moms a strong sense of not giving a fuck about this shit, and to them, I say: I'm jealous.

But in the news lately has been a lot of stories about moms, young daughters, and scary body image stuff. Like the Botox Mom, who claimed she was giving her eight-year-old daughter Botox injections (but now says she was making it all up). Or the Human Barbie mother, who gave her seven-year-old a voucher for breast implants (or another procedure, should she naturally grow awesome boobs) at age 16. According to the article, this kid also got a computer, pink Swarovski ring and matching necklace and a spa weekend for her birthday. Back in my day, we got a cake and a doll and we liked it. But I digress.

Naturally, stories like this are kind of scary and sensationalized, which is why we care about them. How could a mother possibly do these kinds of things to her daughter/lie about them for fame in such a way that we all believed it? How could a mom encourage her daughter to surgically alter her body before encouraging her to just fucking love it first, before going under the knife? And so on, with more generally worrying and judging and such.

I certainly do not condone the actions of these women: they're horrific and scary and hopefully not a harbinger of trends to come for our youngins. But women who have bought into the beauty myth so deeply like this are not necessarily to be blamed. Yes, it would be great if they could critically analyze the world around them and its obscenely difficult-to-uphold beauty standards and show their daughters another way to live, but clearly that ain't what's happening here. These women have just found a more extreme version of the truth we all grapple with: that beauty matters in terms of how you are treated. That being labeled fat or ugly or undesirable can make you incredibly vulnerable to harassment and mistreatment, especially as a kid but long into adulthood. Most of us know and accept this, that attractive people (however society currently and arbitrarily defines that) have it easier to an extent. And most parents only want to make their kid's life easier. I don't agree with these women's methods for doing that, but I do think to shake the finger at them when many of us do the same thing and uphold the same myths is harsh and hypocritical and not really helpful.

What do you think? Is these bitches just crazy, or is the world crazy?

Much love,
The Sheriff