friday links

Texas A&M student senate voted last week to cut funding for the LGBT resource center and to divert the funds to a "center for traditional and family values." Boo!


Teen fakes pregnancy for school project. Interesting!

LOLZ: Are white people racially oppressed?

Terrible: Tennessee senate passed a bill to make it illegal to say the word "gay" in TN schools.

Words from a Smith alumna about the difficulties of not being legally recognized as married.


Ten year old's rant to boys around the world. Cute and enlightened!


Sad and disgusting: woman beat in a McDonald's for being trans while employees watch. Ugh.

Much love,
The Sheriff

in which we tackle Barbie

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A friend on Facebook referred this article to me (side note: I LOVE when ya'll do that! Information sharing FTW) and said she was curious for some reflection on it.

For those too lazy to click over, it profiles a college-age woman Galia Slayen who struggled with an eating disorder and as a high school project took on the task of presenting Barbie as she would truly stand as a person: 5'9", 110 pounds, and with a body mass index of 16 (18.5-24.9 is considered healthy for an adult woman--16 is anorexic, though I will add that BMI is definitely a flawed indicator of overall health since it only takes into account weight and height). Barbie's shoes would be a size 3 (on a woman of 5'9", mind you!), with a bust of 39", a waist of 18", and 33" hips. She would likely not have enough body fat to have a period, and due to her enormous breasts, minuscule waist, and pin thin legs, she would have to crawl on all fours to move, since she would not be able to walk.

First, I'm super proud and happy for Slayen that she has conquered her own disease and to now speak out as an advocate for moving as a society towards a saner and healthier body image.

Now onto a good question: if her project somehow impacts Mattell's executive and design team and they made a doll with more "normal" (read: humanly possible) features, would it make a difference in terms of development of the body image of the average American girl?

Maybe.

Everyone loves to think (myself included sometimes) that they're smarter than advertisers and too aware and intelligent to fall for the idea of the perfect female body that we're presented with. But it would be damn near impossible to not be influenced with the onslaught of images we see everyday, and study after study reveals that we all are, menfolk definitely included (rise in male eating disorders, anyone?). And although this is based only on my own anecdotal evidence, people with eating disorders (recovered or active) tend to be obsessed with images of perfect bodies. I've seen it in myself and fellow patients in treatment, but also in the comments section of sites like Skinny vs Curvy, where an admission of a past relationship with an eating disorder results in a chorus of "me too!" Granted, it's a chicken and egg thing (did the ED lead to the obsession or vice versa?), but it does indicate a real relationship between obsession over perfect body images, self-image, and eating disorders.

Can Barbie be held responsible for the rise in eating disorders and body misery we see today?

No. Not entirely. But she certainly doesn't help--neither do fashion spreads featuring only models with massive gaps between their thighs or movies where women any larger than a size 4 are cast only as "the fat funny friend" and never as the romantic lead or wildly photoshopped celebrities.

But a doll with realistic body proportions would be a definite step in the right direction.

What say you?

Much love,
The Sheriff

salons and manners, or why it's so easy to not be a jerk

yeah daria

This Saturday, I got my hair did. I've been going to the same salon for a while (I mentioned previously my shock that my stylist wanted fake breasts), and have a great relationship with my stylist. She knows what I like hair-wise, remembers things about my boyfriend and background, and is really funny. I like her a lot, as a service provider and as a person.

Which is why I get really upset about people who don't tip, or tip poorly, or talk nasty to their stylist.

I'm not saying anything revolutionary that BeautySchooled hasn't addressed (and surely more eloquently), but I am just perpetually shocked at what people think is acceptable in terms of treating salon workers. Or anyone who works and relies primarily on tips to get by. But because workers in the beauty industry are so overwhelmingly female, this is a gendered issue and it's also a great way to put your money where your mouth is...and your feminist walk behind your talk (too many idioms?).

Treating (badly paid) women workers well isn't just feminism, it's just damn polite and the right thing to do. As a consumer, the way you use your money and the issues you bring to the attention of business owners really matter.

Do you get mad when people tip badly? Or are you yourself a bad tipper (does anyone actually think they are)? 

Much love,
The Sheriff

hiatus.

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I'm taking a wee small break of one week from blogging. It's crunch time at Smith, and I'm lucky enough to have no final exams (woo!) but I do have three papers due in the next ten days so I'm off doing more formal, less interesting writing for the next week. But I promise to be back next Monday with some juicy stuff!
I will miss you!

Much love,
The Sheriff

Friday Links

Surprising that J. Crew is the one to spark some debate about gender roles. Specifically about small boys and pink toenails.

Speaking of gender roles...if you read my last post about Smith's refusal to let a male student host prospective students, this article in the Sophian written by him might be of interest. 

And you can sign this petition to communicate to the administration that we support trans rights at Smith!

Homophobia isn't good for business, says 50 cent. Progress? 

And finally: how to stay sane during finals week.

Much love,
The Sheriff

Smith College, I am ASHAMED of you.

Smith is gearing up for open campus, a weekend where prospective students visit campus and get to see all of our snazzy amenities, our lovely houses, our beautiful campus.

But I guess they won't see any transgender students!

A Smith Gold Key tour guide was refused the chance to host a prospie because of his gender identity.

This is some bullshit. Smith has to recognize the contributions of our trans students and see that they are just like the rest of us and deserve the same chances!

Might it be confusing for a prospie to stay with a man at a woman's college? Sure. But it would also be an authentic Smith experience and maybe open up her mind to some new possibilities and inequalities and opportunities. And frankly, if her reaction is one of shock and discomfort, then she knows this ain't the college for her.

But nope, let's just ignore the men on campus. Nothing to see here, except some discrimination.

Mad as hell? Email transcendinggender@gmail.com to get involved!



Much love,
The Sheriff

college sex: why hookups aren't evil

the 12 year old in me is laughing.

 Sometimes, I feel like a little bit of a fraud. I try to write about college sex, among other things, but frankly? My college experience hasn't been average in the least bit, particularly when it comes to the sex and romance scene at Smith. We're a women's college and about 30% gay/bisexual/pansexual/non-straight identified. And while I've nearly always been able to get some when I wanted to, it is something you have to put a bit more work into if you're after a male partner in the bedroom. The main arena for meeting people is still parties (Smith house parties are just as awkward as your middle-school dances, but everyone is tipsy), and hookups are still the main sexual/romantic interaction on campus as far as my anecdotal and not-at-all-scientifically-rigorous research shows.

Hookups are often characterized as being detrimental to the mental, emotional, and physical health of young people, especially us delicate womenfolk. Between the feeling of being "used" and the risk of STIs (especially without proper use of a barrier method), some of these concerns seem to be legitimate.

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But to conclude that hookups are inherently bad for women removes our agency entirely from the question. It takes on a paternalist point of view, assuming that we all want love and a ring on it and that hookups will only lead us to the clinic with a rash, alone and emotionally broken. Such is the tale woven by Laura Sessions Stepp in Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both. I read about three-fourths of the boek before I got fed up with her spin on things and focus only on the detrimental effects of casual sex.

As the subtitle tells you, her main point is that hookups are a form of false empowerment and when they're the only option of romantic interaction on a campus scene, women (who she infuriatingly refers to as "girls" throughout her book, as if they're children) inevitably wind up disappointed because we're really seeking a connection, not meaningless sex (she also argues that it leave us unable to establish healthy relationships later in life because we've never done the dating/courtship thing).

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And maybe some of us are seeking that connection. But ALL of my college relationships started with a hookup, with what I thought was surely a one night stand. If you want more than just sex, say so! Don't feel like you have to bend what you want to fit into the expectation of meaningless sex and awkward morning afters just to get your sexual needs met if that's not for you (buy a vibe to tide you over!). Plenty of men and women want to find a companion who is more than just an easy lay, even in college!

And if you just want that easy lay, you're in luck. The problem with hookup culture as I see it is less that it's inherently unsatisfactory for one gender and heaven for another and more that no one teaches young men and women how to actually express what they want sexually and romantically before they go off to college. Which is where solid sex education comes in, but that's another post.

If you've been to college, what was your experience of the sex/romance scene like? Did you date or just bang? How did it impact you? 

Much love,
The Sheriff