In my feminist, utopian vision of the world, I've always conceived of women wielding their sexuality in the carefree way that men did: as a positive, pleasurable force in their lives that needn't be related directly to makin' babies, that allowed them to have sex with whomever they wanted, as much as they wanted, however they wanted, even if that meant one night stands, multiple partners, women/men/transgendered individuals, whatever, as long as it was consensual.
Which sounds suspiciously like the old-school definiton of a slut.
While I could go on for ages about women being taught to fear their sexuality/the double standard (and surely will in later posts), suffice it to say that one of my most intense middle school memories was my Nana telling me that the shirt I wore my first day of 5th grade made me look "fast" (which, presumably, would make me end up miserable with six kids and a philandering husband like her...thanks, Nana, but I'll pass).
I had a clear image then and now of what constituted a slut. I am sad to say that I have been that judgmental bitch at the club, commenting on how nasty and whore-ish you look in that dress with those clear heels. Just like porn, you know sluts when you see them.
Or do you? Is that slut just maybe an empowered female, reclaiming her sexuality with a positive force, laughing at your judgment the whole time?
(Maybe if she took off those clear heels...)
In all seriousness, the working definition I've come up with (for my sexuality and for ALL empowered women, which I hope is every woman!), is the following:
Empowered women have sex with who they want, when they want, how they want, but they do so because of their own desire, not just because it's available. "Sluts" participate in sex with anyone, anytime, just because someone wants them and they need that validation of being wanted so much (which we all do, to an extent).
That's my bit. I'd love to hear what ya'll think! Anyone out there (besides my partner in crime in this blog) reclaiming the word slut?
Much love,
The Albright Sheriff
I think at the very least, we need a word that applies to men in the same way that "bitch" or "slut" are applied to women. A few exist but are not used at nearly the same frequency. There are so many more insulting words for women than their are for men (brat, skank, whore, etc are hardly ever applied to a man). It's incredibly sexist, and gives men so much more power over us.
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