Wednesday, May 25, 2011

sexting and the modern woman

not from my iPhone, for the record, as I do not have one.
 As I enter into this sort of quasi-single undefined stage of my romantic life, I am shocked by how common sexting really is. It's not just limited to high schoolers, though that brings up interesting legal questions in its own right (in some states, even sending pictures of yourself to someone else is illegal if you're under 18!). EVERYBODY does it, it feels like. These damn whippersnappers, I tell ya. It varies from just verbal descriptions of scenarios to pictures of boners (for the record, listen up men: a penis in isolation is rarely sexy, at least to most of the females I know. Word to the wise).

And while I am certainly not a prude and have been known to very much enjoy sending some sexually explicit texts and even quasi-nude photos to serious significant others, this trend does sort of baffle me. To send a naked photo (even one without your face in it), to a person you barely know? Especially when it is practically demanded of you by a near stranger you met at a bar (which it often is, in my totally anecdotal research of asking my friends about this very important social issue)? But is it really that different from one night stands, where you get naked with a near stranger?

I say YES since with a fling, the image of your hot nude bod might be seared into their memory forever, but it's not saved on their laptop or phone with the potential to be sent and spread all over the tech-linked universe. Technology really adds a whole new dimension to sex and relationships. Obviously, it's great for a lil flirtation and communication, but it's got some issues too. It encourages this false sense of intimacy, reading things on their Facebook that you have in common ("Oh my god, she likes Nas too?!") and texting without much face-to-face interaction which is, after all, where most of the magic (sexual or romantic) happens. And ya know, the insistence on sending naked photos is a little off-putting too.

Where do you stand in this important debate? Is it dangerous, stupid, silly, hot, fun, none of the above?

Much love,
The Sheriff
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2 comments:

  1. Dr.KinkyJune 1, 2011 at 5:55 PM

    Being a young "whippersnapper" who has indulged in this behavior, I must say that its kinda fun. Especially because I am the type of person that doesn't like to have a boyfriend. That being said, when I indulged in this behavior with a person that lived kinda far away from me, who I didn't see very often, things got ugly. We both got hurt when one of us dated someone else, because we had created this false relationship. NOT GOOD. so my lesson has been learned. I may sext if I have a boyfriend because it can be fun, but not with someone that I am not emotionally connected to and who I don't see for very long periods of time. I haven't had a guy take the things I have said and spread them on the internet or do crazy things (that I know of). Also, the guys that I have sexted have never forced me to do so. It was a choice that I made. Lastly, I agree with you sheriff, picture of lonely boners = not too sexy.

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  2. The SheriffJune 2, 2011 at 6:07 PM

    I agree that it is kinda fun! But you have to be sure the recipient is worthy.

    I don't think it's so much that it's something anybody is forced to do as it is that coercion and begging and (most importantly) expectation are definitely at play in a lot of interactions of this kind.

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