The cliched Facebook status of "It's Complicated" is almost too silly to be taken seriously...but on a personal level, that's kinda where I'm at. Entering into the Real World, with a long-distance relationship has prompted Meatball and I into talks of what we are/should be in this new phase of our lives, leaving us on a break, yet not broken up. Huh? Right. There's a shit ton of doubts and fears aroused by this undefined status, that's for damn sure.
Undefined relationships are a college staple, probably because people rely so much on hookups as a means of getting acquainted and are often reluctant to given up their freedoms at such a young age and time when the expectation and college kid stereotype is that you'll probably get busy with lots of different folks on the regular (or at least want to).
But the cap and gown clearly don't change much since at least for me, this title is continuing to persist into the Real World. And it does indeed complicate things to step into an undefined space: how much can you expect of someone without a title? Will you call them to cry if your period is late, or keep it to just your friends? Can you demand emotional support, or is it limited to just fun times and making you moan? Are they the only one who will make you moan, or is it more open (USE BARRIER METHODS NO MATTER WHAT PEOPLE)? It's enough to send ya crawling back to defined, safe monogamy.
But that's precisely why open and honest communication is so important to having successful relationship of any kind, but especially with an undefined bedroom buddy. Even if it's uncomfortable, hashing out the above questions can prevent a lot of misunderstandings and hurt feelings. And having that stuff sussed out is a win-win because then you can relax and enjoy the moaning without questioning what it means, how often you can text the before it's clingy, and whether or not you should buy them a birthday present.
Call me a control freak, but I think defining the undefined at least a little bit makes it more enjoyable!
But what say you? Ever had one of these "what are we?" scenarios?
Much love,
The Sheriff
I was in a relationship with a guy for a year and then we decided to break up officially but keep seeing each other. Some people told me this was a terrible idea but it was great for both of us and we are still friends 4 years later. :)
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