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I went into my dentist this morning for a cleaning, fully prepared for The Look of Judgment when I tell the hygienist I've only been flossing twice a week, as if we're discussing my moral status as a human being instead of my plaque content. And I got all that, plus a painfully deep cleaning, and more. My dentist came in at the end to give my mouth the once over, and per usual, wrote up a few spots that need drilling. As she examined my teeth and made me bite down, she asked, "You had an eating disorder?" I nodded. "Throwing up?" Surprised by her bluntness, I nodded again. She sighed, looked me in the eyes, and said, "You really shouldn't have done that. It's very bad for you."
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Really? You think I didn't know that? You don't think that may have occurred to me before, prompting me to put myself through recovery and treatment centers twice? You think I'm that stupid? I really can't stand the holier-than-thou, thou-art-so-stupid act that doctors dose out to their patients, especially young, female, or fat ones. I've had doctors trivilize my eating disorder (including a psychologist who told me I should just eat bananas to replenish lost potassium from purging and then I'd be fine). I've heard horror stories of Smithies going to Health Services and facing The Judgment for their sexual activities. And I know larger people face it nearly everywhere they go, from doctors offices to restaurants where the waitress raises her eyebrows at their choice to order desert. It's bullshit. Being young and female (and even having had an eating disorder) does not make me stupid in regards to my health, believe it or not.
Much love,
The Sheriff
I am so with you. My mom's a nurse and never shuts up about how fat people are destroying themselves and don't deserve the medical procedures available to them (you know, the intense surgical procedures that make them incapable of anything but starving themselves, procedures with a high fatality risk). She can't see them as people.
ReplyDeleteOn a lesser note, I went to a doctor the other day to talk about my issues with vertigo (extreme dizziness, sometimes I can't walk) and he suggested I dye my hair. Because blond=dumb=dizzy, obviously. Jack ass.
yea, male doctors in particular are ALWAYS dicks. theyre always acting like you are the retard of the planet and like you just learned language yesterday. no matter what you say to them, theyre like "i really know best so please stfu." which is fine, im sure you do know a fuckton more than i do about all the different names of my innards, but i know my body better than you do because THIS isnt the exact corpse you studied in med school, so please stfu.
ReplyDeleteGAH! Outraged! OUTRAGED. Definitely find yourself a new dentist, stat.
ReplyDeletePS. http://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/so-my-doctor-tried-to-kill-me/ has more on this issue. AMAZING.
So, wait, I already have to deal with my white privilege, my male privilege, my straight privilege, my rich privilege, and my skinny privilege... and now I have to deal with healthy privilege too?! You people have no idea how difficult it is coming to terms with this much privilege.
ReplyDeletenot only choosing to order desert but NOT choosing to. I've had a lot of waitresses look surprisedly at me when I told them that all I wanted that night was a nice bowl of soup, thank you, and maybe a side of bread. They get this shocked expression and ask "are you sure?"
ReplyDeleteyes, i'm sure. just as sure as anyone else who just ordered.
it's amazing what people will assume about you based on your appearance.
Ugh I can not even start on this topic. It is hell for the rest of your life and everything wrong with you is blamed on it. As if living with an eating disorder mind isn't hard enough...
ReplyDelete