"just playin'"--sexual harassment and pressure in the workplace

My freshman year of life was spent in a largely male-dominated environment--specifically, a beefy black man environment. Given my role in life as a petite, busty, blonde, there was natural humor to be found in the contrast between their role and appearance in the workplace and mine. A bro-like relationship developed.

the best picture of "bros" I could find

There was often a lot of joking, some of it related to sex and bodies...which of course led to some directed at the Sheriff's outrageous shape. Given the fact that it is my workplace, I didn't disclose that I've been writing a blog about sex that includes stories of my VCH piercing or attempts at anal, but I can't hide my body, no matter how hard I try. Most of the jokes were presumably good-natured or at the very least not ill-intentioned, and some of them were even funny! But sometimes, I just felt uncomfortable. Having your butt or boobs verbally poked at gets old, at best. I started to wonder why sexual harassment/sexual annoyance when men get in groups is so damn common.

From what I've gathered and surmised, it looks like men bond over sexualizing women. Boys clubs are all about bonding over sexualizing women. Being able to comfortably talk to and bond with the men at my work is important to me, but why does blending in and being successful mean acting like a dude?

Because! As we all know, any subordinated group has to conform to the dominant group's ways in order to be seen and be successful. This ranges from women having to wear boring, sexless suits to work to be taken seriously or the Williams sisters' wearing of beads on the tennis court being criticized as inappropriate.

So how do I point out that sometimes it makes me uncomfortable without being a shrill harpy? I think changing the subject simply is the best way. Sometimes the jokes are genuinely funny, so changing the subject or gently pointing out that I don't want to hear that should be reserved for the more obnoxious situations.

What do you do about this? Ever encounter it in your world?

Much love,
The Sheriff