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I've got a shocking (not really) confession to make: I have never role-played sexually (or otherwise...I was at the bottom of the social totem pole in high school, but I wasn't completely a nerd!). Part of this is because I have a serious condition known as The Giggles that makes me laugh outrageously extremely frequently, which is not really a turn-on when pretending to be someone's hot nurse. Furthermore, I've never had a partner who seemed comfortable with it, and I'm pretty sure Meatball would die of embarrassment if I insisted that we try indulging in a role-play scenario, 'cause he's just cute like that.
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BUT. The one thing that bothers me about role-play is that it frequently involves scenarios with a power dynamic differential. Not that there's anything inherently wrong with that, but it often puts the male figure in the place of control. Scenarios like boss/secretary, stripper/client, erotic photographer/model usually (but not always) place the dude as the one calling the shots. And I don't always like that. Role-play can be a lot more hot and allow you to stretch your comfort zone safely if you're inhabiting a new and different position that you ordinarily are: for many hetero women, that means switching from being the more passive partner to initiating sex and taking control of what happens during in an active way. And obviously within same-sex couples, it allows for some awesome possible experimentation for both partners. Role-play can actually be really subversive AND hot, which is a total two-for-one, ya'll.
Have you ever role-played? Any interest in it, or are you too prone to giggling as I am? Are the gendered dynamics a turn-off, or turn-on?
Much love,
The Sheriff
I've never roleplayed, although my college girlfriend would occasionally wear school girl outfits (bought piecemeal from goodwill). Obviously the power dynamic that you employ in your regular sex life will influence the sort of roleplaying you do. If you are typically more submissive in bed you might enjoy a teacher/student or boss/secretary, but if you have more dominant tendencies you might be more into prisoner/guard, or even student/teacher (from what I have read apparently women can be teachers... and even bosses. Crazy feminists). Roleplay is no more inherently misogynistic than any interactions between the sexes, which is to say a little bit, because let's be honest, this is a patriarchy, but it certainly doesn't have to be.
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy your comments, Tom.
ReplyDeleteI have, and I have played roles of both ends of the spectrum. I'm not too much of a serious feminist to refuse to play the role of boss/secretary, because he knows he's not in control of me and it's all in fun anyways. But I also have played the boss myself, and cop, to where I was playing a dominant part. I think if you switch up roles like that, it makes it even better.
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