choices, choices

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College is full of choices. And they are almost always blown out of proportion and seen as being Huge, Very Important Decisions that will totally determine how happy you are, how much money you have, and whether you have a fancy pants obituary upon your death. You choose your college (well, more accurately, they choose you), then you pick your major, which is supposed to somehow relate to what you're supposed to do with the Rest of Your Life. At a young, child-like 18 (seriously. I know it's cliche, but the older I get, the more I look at first years in disbelief like, "OMG you can read and drive a car? Are you sure? Do you want me to hold your hand?" I even find myself doing it to the freshmen pledges in Meatball's fraternity), you're somehow supposed to be imbued with the knowledge of what you like, what you're good at, and what will translate into a major with a marketable enough skills to make you ca$h and which will logically lead to a career in your post-graduation, shiny, exciting life.

This post is mostly to assure anyone at any point in this process of becoming an "adult": It rarely works out this way.

Every year at Smith, I've had at least one moderately major meltdown where I sit down and cry and pull on my hair and maybe suck my thumb for a while in fear. Did I choose the right major? Will I ever find a job? I don't even like what I study, WHY would I want to do this forever? I picked a major my first semester at Smith, thinking Government and Middle East Studies was totes what I wanted forever and ever and that I'd get a Really Important Job in DC after I graduated, make big bucks, live The Good Life desired for me by my parents (who have not gone to college and are supportive but also completely fuckin clueless about how scary some of these choices are and wonder why I think college isn't just a cake walk), and never look back.

But then, junior year, I realized that our government does some sketchy shit, and that I don't actually like DC or its culture of yuppies who all wanna be Obama whilst wearing boring suits and panty hose in 102 degree weather with 100% humidity (not hatin' on them, but I realized that that sounds like my personal version of Hell). I had a friend who realized that her degree, while being what she wants to study, would raise a lot of questions from future employers about its practical usefulness (what does a degree in Medieval Studies mean, exactly?). Similarly, I have a friend who majored in something appropriately science-y and important, and she's also clueless about what comes next so it's not just those of us who chose "fluffy" things to study that have no direct link to a career (Comparative Literature? Anthropology? NOT USELESS). And even securing an actual job post-graduation is not free from judgment by well-meaning folks, who accidentally put massive pressure on you and make you feel like an underachiever and wonder if you'll ever do anything Real and Impressive with your life.

Point being? There is really no magical right answer to any of these questions. Sure, I envy Meatball's degree in Pragmatic and Useful Engineering (note: not his actual major), but I know that would've been a terrible choice for me (I am not pragmatic, though hopefully I am useful. I'm still unclear on what exactly engineering is). Your major does not determine your future anymore than where you went to college does (Condie went to a state school!). Listen to your gut, work hard, and make the choices that seem right for you. You do not need to impress anyone other than yourself at the end of the day. I can't guarantee things will be easy or that you'll always know the "right" option to choose, and the economic climate out there, admittedly, is scary. But being stuck in a life that you hate, doing something that you find dull but that you majored in during school because it seemed like a way to get a job with a big salary and benefits and a title, sounds a little scarier to me. It's okay to be scared or anxious about college and what comes next: it doesn't have to be perfect.

IT WILL BE OKAY.

Much love,
The Sheriff

PS--Similar topic and comfort can be found here!