v-day sexual expectations

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Holidays are always full of ludicrous expectations: this Christmas, no one will get drunk and insult each other while we pretend to enjoy the tasteless mashed potatoes made by Auntie. And this New Year's, the party will be amazing and I'll kiss someone at midnight and no one will insist on driving home drunk.

And this Valentine's Day will be magical and full of roses and candy and love and amazing mind blowing sex.

Because expectations and pressure like that has never disappointed anyone.

I don't really buy hugely into the hype of hatin' on Valentine's Day (yes, it's over-commercialized, and yes, you should show your love every day of the year), and I do think it's cute and enjoyable if you relax and don't make it into too much. If you aren't expecting it to blow your mind, whatever does happen will be much more pleasant.

This absolutely includes V-Day sexy time.

Expecting sex to be more special or mind-blowing just because it's a holiday is a) illogical, and b) only likely to give you performance anxiety and make it less enjoyable than it could've been. While the Sheriff herself did not get to see Meatball on the day itself, she may have made an appearance over the weekend for him in some cheesy panties that may have looked identical to this:

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And it was silly and fun and hopefully he liked it, but either way, I got to fuck my partner for the first time in weeks so the accoutrement of the evening couldn't have mattered less. Candles or rose petals wouldn't have made either of us cum any quicker or love the other more. Sex is not about putting on a performance. It's more about the connection you have with your partner and your ability to stay in the moment that determines how you'll feel  and how much pleasure you get out of it (this counts for solo sex too: masturbation can be just as frustrating, even though you clearly know how you like to be touched, if you're disconnected from yourself and your mind is wandering). Enjoy the sex you're having, and try to check your expectations at the door.

But what do you think? Are high expectations good for raising the bar and encouraging fun new sex, or do they just ruin the perfectly good stuff that happens most of the time?


Much love,
The Sheriff