For the sake of Virginity

I study the Middle East and spent last semester studying in Amman, Jordan. Gender relations over there are incredibly different from here for multiple reasons, but the issue that I want to highlight in this post is the recent phenomenon of hymen reconstructive surgery. Honor is a big deal in the most of the Middle East but primarily Jordan. The reason (according to most academics) is that tribes have always had a need to establish the parentage of every child because resources are so scare. Each tribe has rights to certain pasture lands or water-areas (remember its the desert). It also needs to control the size of the tribe to only the number of people that it can sustain. Over time, this developed into a sense of honor and shame, defined through the actions of women that pervades society today. Sexual activity before marriage is a big no-no but happens all of the time considering that most people don't get married until their mid-twenties. This seems young for us but remember that you are expected to spend your teenage years and the beginning of your adult life not having sex. In an effort to control sexual behavior, men commit "crimes of honor" against their sisters, wives, and daughters. Any women suspected of illicit activity might be killed for her behavior. (There is debate about the prevalence of honor crimes. When I left Jordan in December, 18 had been reported in the country, although some probably went unreported. One of my friends peer tutor told my friend that she had a secret boyfriend. My friend asked what would happen if her family found out. The girl responded that they would "probably not kill her" but would probably remove her from University.) Crimes of honor are prosecuted as crimes of passion under the Jordanian Criminal Code which means that a man who kills his sister, daughter, wife did so b/c the shame that his family would face caused by her sexual behavior threw him into a fury of passion in which he could not control his actions. (However, this has recently begun to change. Judges have started throwing out the "passion" defense and prosecute honor crimes as regular homicide.) I give this lengthly introduction to provide background information to this article.

http://en.ammonnews.net/article.aspx?articleNO=7676

I have mixed feelings about hymen reconstruction surgery. It does prevent the murder of women who engaged in sex before marriage. In an ideal world, women shouldn't need to lie to their future husbands and families about their sexual conduct. But it does so without challenging the notion that a woman should remain a virgin until she is married. Women shouldn't need to lie to their future husbands and families about their sexual conduct. I have major problems with the glorification of female virginity because it leads to and justifies things like honor crimes. I think that a woman's sexual decisions should be her own to make. In my opinion, virginity is not this special part of you that is lost forever once you have sex. That's my problem with hymen reconstruction surgery, that it continues to accept and does not challenge the societal expectation of female virginity until marriage. Society continues to allow men to continue to expect and to "protect" female virginity. Of course, the question is how much do you resist a part of the system to cause social change, and how much do you work within it?

Lots of Love,
Lady Lola