And that's my new philosophy

Over the past few months, I have developed a new policy about relations with men: a man will call you if and when he wants to see you. You should not call him unless he has already called you a few times (thus expressing his desire to see you). It sounds simple, but its much harder to do than it sounds. On a feminist level, I dislike my own policy because it takes the power away from me. However (and unfortunately), it works (almost every time).

I came to this realization after an epic fail one spring evening. A few months ago, a friend and I decided to visit her friends at a local university and party there. Overall, it was a great night. We went to an improv club, a party, and I got some from "Chuck." I did not get "Chuck's number" nor did he ask for mine because it was only a one-night thing. However, I did facebook friend him the next day which was mistake number one. A few weeks later, I was out with friends, drank too much and decided that it would be a good idea to fb message chuck, asking him if he would like to repeat the experience (read: booty call). I woke up the next morning immediately thinking "oh shit." But to my surprise, he replied two days later, asking me if I would like to come visit him that night. I probably shouldn't have gone, because it made me look too desperate, but I thought "what's a two hour drive for a booty call?" So I drove there, and met up with him. After eating and watching a movie, Chuck turns to me and says "I think you have the wrong idea about me. I like you and think you're cool, but I only like you as a friend." I said "but you're a man-whore." My friend's friend had told us about his escapades, and this statement didn't jive with the information I knew about him (albeit through the grape-vine but still). He said that my friend's friend was mistaken. Regardless of his statements, the point is that my booty call failed, but I learned a valuable lesson. Don't contact men, if they want to see you, they will contact you.

I know that this policy sounds a little "he's just not that into you" and honestly, it is. But it works. At another party, I gave my number to a kid, and he texted me three days later. I admit that I don't like it. I wish that girl could call a boy and she can, just not the first time (in my experience). But once he does call you, you know that he's into you which "puts the ball in your court." I know that this policy puts a lot of pressure on the man. "What if he's too nervous to call you?" But men out there: How many times have you been into a girl and not called her? So, I'm sticking to this policy until I find a better one.

Lots of Love,
Lady Lola