Yesterday, I was researching Margaret Sanger and her cohorts views about pre-marital sex. In general, the consensus was pre- marital sex is not the best idea b/c men only want one thing (banging) while women need an emotional and physical connection (which is still most of the current discourse). But I wanted to share a few quotes with you guys that I found either hysterical, amazing, or thought-provoking.
The first set comes from Edward Griffith's book "Modern Marriage and Birth Control" published in 1935. Griffith was a British birth control advocate and became a member of many of the groups over there. He argued the women had a right to experience sexual pleasure in marriage (yes!) and that sex was not something dirty or immoral.
"Sex is fundamental to life. Passion is fundamental to sex. If we were devoid of passion we should be uninteresting people."
"Such a harmonious sex life cannot be lived by a couple if they are in constant fear of having children or if they do not both appreciate to the full the natural satisfaction which should be obtained from a properly adjusted sex life."
"Sex is good and wholesome and clean and every effort should be made to keep it so."
"A woman's natural instinct is to fall in love, marry and have a home and children." (I disagree)
"His ultimate desire is for sexual union...he is satisfying all his own immediate needs whereas the girl is not really satisfying hers." (Again, I disagree)
"Nothing is more painful or immoral than sex relationships without sensations."
"Sex relationships without the bond of home and children are for the most part short-lived and doomed to failure." (ehhh)
The next set comes from Margaret Sanger's book "Happiness in Marriage." (You can actually get copies of this one from amazon)
"Chronic constipation is an enemy to beauty." (Context: she spends a chapter telling young ladies that they need to take care of themselves physically and emotionally to attract a man)
"Remember again that a prize lightly won is not highly valued." (Why girls shouldn't bang before marriage, again I disagree)
"They should read together-poetry, novels, book which intensify their sense of the beauty and greatness of life." (Her suggestions instead of banging. Funny how I see similar ideas in abstinence pamphlets today)
"He must remember that this is the culmination of the first period of her life...No normal girl can be considered as not fearful of this novel and crucial experience." (She says this to the man about the wedding night...I disagree that my life is defined by marriage but I do agree that losing your virginity is a crucial experience that can be pretty scary.)
So, things to think about. These guys advocated birth control for married couples to foster a healthy sex life between them. They tried to break the connection b/w sex and procreation, acknowledge female desire and tell women that being passionate and enjoying sex did not make them a prostitute. This shit was radical in the early 1900's when women had no sexual power unless they were whores. However, these guys also worked within the standard definitions of gender and argued for "race betterment." What can I say, history is complicated (and that's why I love it!)
Lots of Love,
Lady Lola
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