I'm staying in a Quad House for until the very beginning of August. For those not familiar with Smith College's culture (and it is its own culture, best believe), the Quad is both geographically and socially a thing apart from the rest of campus: they party harder, and are "straighter" on average. The Quad tends to be where Smithies who maybe at first didn't really wanna be Smithies live, because it resembles a normal college scene more. And so they have books like He's Just Not That Into You in their house libraries, something I promptly took advantage of.
Having never seen Sex and the City (yes, never), I don't really give a fuck that this book was written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo who are, as touted on the cover, a writer and a consultant for SATC. Based on their pictures on the book flap's back cover, Greg is a rapidly aging man with bad hair (I'm talkin' n*sync bad hair) and Liz needs to get outside in the sunshine and perhaps find a similarly less 90s camisole.
The book is horrendously written and poorly edited, full of Greg quipping about how he loves women in their underwear and Liz trying to apologize for Greg but merely repeating what he says (with some false commiseration and repeatedly telling us she's no girly girl and she has no emotions LOOK I'M NOT A BITCH LIKE YOU etc etc). Each chapter is based around another way to tell he's not that into you (if he doesn't ask you out, if he doesn't immediately bone you, and so on) and is based around fake letters written in a style that is deliberately intended to make women sound whiney, stupid and dependent to Greg that he answers in an extraordinarily patronizing tone.
Needless to say, I hated the book. It might've been funny if the authors (and apparently lots of other people too, since it was a #1 NYT best seller) didn't actually believe what bullshit they were touting.
One of the real gems of the book comes along on just page nine, when Greg, attempting to convince women to be more passive in their love lives, so eloquently says, "You seem to think at times that we're 'too shy' or 'we just got out of something.' Let me remind you: men find it very satisfying to get what they want (particularly after a difficult day of running the world)."
Wow. I don't really think I need to tell you why that made my blood boil. Similarly, he repeatedly says, "Don't let him trick you into asking him out." Did he give you his number, which made you think he might actually want you to call him? YOU'RE SO STUPID, because, as Greg reminds us silly half-witted ladies, "just because you like to lead doesn't mean he wants to dance." So if you like to take charge and demonstrate your interest in a person, too bad, because that means you're desperate and you don't believe you're worth being pursued. Or, as they put it, "You are good enough to be asked out."
While there were many many (I mean MANY) more awful quotes that I could put here, for the sake of brevity I'll limit myself. In the chapter titled he's just not that into you if he doesn't want to marry you, Liz starts off sounding promising, acknowledging that plenty of men, women, and experts in anthropology, psychology and other fields think that marriage is a deeply flawed and outdated institution worth examining. But then she just shits all over her almost intelligent point when she says, "But is that what we're talking about here? Don't let him make you feel stupid about wanting to feel loved." As if marriage was the only way to feel truly loved. As if you needed that badge of a ring and an overpriced ceremony and reception to show the world that goddammit you ARE worth loving.
The one thing I can credit the book with is that is tells you to stop wasting your time on people who do drugs/drink more than you're comfortable with, those who only want to see you when they're shitfaced, those who are other people's spouses (!). But then it takes this message of knowing your own worth and kicks it to the curb by telling you how stupid you over and over for trying to be more active in your love life or being understanding of someone's matrimonial fears or any other supposed dating "sins." It's a sexist piece of crap, bottom line.
Much love,
The Albright Sheriff
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